Solomon Koukon; The Lone Wolf

[Solomon Koukon]

Player Information

Name: LA

Age: 20

Website:

Contact Information [AIM,YIM etc.]:

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Character Information

Name(Meaning): Solomon (Hebrew: "Peace") Koukon (Japanese: "Twilight")

Age (generation): Appears 23 (actually around 150)

Lineage: Kouryuu (as fathered by Westin Hakaisha) and Ookami Youkai

Relatives: Hakaisha Noel (grandfather: deceased), Hakaisha Habashi (grandmother: deceased), Kisaki Koukon (mother: deceased), Hakaisha Westin (father: deceased), Abbadon Hakaisha (uncle: unknown to Solomon)

Ranks/Titles: None

Realm: Ningenkai

Pacts: none; uses Ice and Water

Special Abilities: None

Allegiance: None

Race: Ookami Youkai

Birthdate: February 2nd

Birthplace: Quebec

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Significant Other: desperately looking.

Personality:
Solomon usually keeps to himself on purpose. Whereas he can be a great and friendly people person, usually bad things happen to the others he's around. This causes him to become a bit shy most of the time. But when he builds up the courage, he is a hopeless romantic, believing love can heal the heaviest of souls.

History:
Solomon was conceived by the Archangel Hakaisha Westin and his Ookami Youkai wife Kisaki Koukon. The two lived outside the safety of Kisaki's pack, due to their rejection of his father for being an Archangel. Once they found out that she had already married Westin, they immediately banished her from the pack. They then moved to Quebec to begin their lives.

When Kisaki birthed Solomon, she taught him the two elements that were used within the Koukon pack (Water and Ice). His father Westin taught him how to see the good in all people and to always be thankful for what you have. Whereas he loved both his parents, he loved his mother to death, keeping all of her teachings to heart, especially the ones about love.

One day, Solomon watched as his father Westin was about to head out "on an important trip." Being raised on nothing but happiness, hope and love, Solomon was saddened to see his father leave, along with his mother Kisaki. But his hope was immediately restored once he heard his father say that he would return.

However, one day after his father's leave, a few of the male members of the Koukon pack tracked Kisaki to her location. Hiding as instructed by his mother, Solomon watched helplessly as the alpha and the two other males from the Koukon pack slaughtered Kisaki, leaving Solomon alone in the world.

Solomon spent the next several years developing his magics and trying to find a place to call his own in the world, still waiting for his father to return since he was now the only family he had left.

Mostly using and developing his ice magic, Solomon travels the world so that he may find his father and hoping to run into someone that may know something about him. And at the same time, hopes he may finally be able to experience the thing his mother Kisaki told him showed no boundaries at all; love.

Strengths:
Solomon is kind and loving to just about everyone he meets. This allows him to make hopeful long-lasting friendships.

Weaknesses:
Solomon tends to set standards for himself that are too high.

Most honorable deed:
Solomon's most honorable deed was when he reunited an infant puppy with its mortal owner when the animal was trapped inside a house fire during his stay in Toronto, Canada.

Most dishonorable deed:
Solomon's most dishonorable deed was when he was falsely accused for a crime during his stay in America. The result was staying in prison for two months until proven innocent, and the abrupt end of his first serious relationship.

Likes: People, romance, animals, steak

Dislikes: Airheads, skeptics, bullies, fast food

Aspirations: To one day find out more about his father than the tales his mother told him and hopes to find someone he can spend the rest of his life with.

Appearence:

Character Claim: Kiba from "Wolf's Rain"

Picture:

[Admin]

My primary problem with this profile is that you have Solomon possessing "mix-matched" abilities. That's not possible. He's either an Ookami youkai, or an Archangel. There's no inbetween. If you want to mention that his parents are of two different races, do it in the "lineage" section.

[Solomon Koukon]

Fixed. Sorry about that...

[Sanada Tomo]

Okay; here are the areas that I have problems with:

Feb 5, 2009 16:17:54 GMT -4 Solomon Koukon said:

Age (generation): Appears 23

How old is he really?

This is something that has been bothering me as Youkai are not immortal, not by any means, and if he was born around the time that Abbadon was, he would have to be dead. Youkai only live to be a few hundred years old.

Pacts: none; uses Ice and Chaos

This isn't necessarily a problem, but I have to tell you that as a moderator, I grow tired of your constant uses of Chaos. I really do.

Special Abilities:
- Solomon has a keen sense of hearing, along with a great sense of smell.

This is not a special ability. He's an Ookami youkai, after all.

- Solomon has the ability to talk to animals.

How does he obtain this ability? It doesn't make sense for him to be able to talk to any animal that isn't a youkai other than wolves.

History:
Solomon was conceived by Noel Hakaisha during one of his last assignments on earth before his death, and Kisaki Koukon, an Ookami Youkai of high caliber within her pack. During her pregnancy, the alpha of the Koukon pack decided to ally the pack under Sanada Tomo, but Kisaki refused wanting nothing to do with the Hell King. She was instantly deemed a traitor and was banished.

It's possible that this could fall in line with Solomon's age...

When Kisaki birthed Solomon, she discovered that he could control Ice magic (one of the two elements she and her pack used), along with Chaos. Because of his abilities, Solomon depended highly on his mother to stay alive as a pup. He loved his mother to death, keeping all of her teachings to heart, especially the ones about love.

Why would those two elements force him to depend on his mother. Also, it's unlikely that it would be discovered that he could use both elements as a pup. Also, what about his father? I know that he died, but she his mother talk about him or anything? And also, if solomon is Abbadon's half brother, is there a relationship of some sort between the two mothers? Does Solomon's mother dislike Abbadon's mother?

Solomon spent the next several years developing his awkward magics and trying to find a place to call his own in the world. But because of his Chaos magic that resided in him, everything and everyone he came in contact with in his chapters of life ended with the last page being nothing but tragedy.

Don't be so obvious in stating that Chaos is the source of his troubles. Just say that he doesn't have good luck and move on. You're kind of "giving it away" if you know what I mean.

So he stays isolated in his travels to find a way to rid himself of the curse of chaos, so that he may finally be able to experience the thing his mother Kisaki told him showed no boundaries at all; love.

Um...this paragraph doesn't make sense. If wanted to have a good life without "chaos" so to speak, all he would have to do is stop practicing the element. So...yeah...

Weaknesses:
Solomon tends to isolate himself sometimes, paranoid over the fact that his Chaos magic would do something to mess something up, since it always does.

Again, mister obvious...try not to implicitly state that its chaos doing the work.

Most honorable deed:
Solomon's most honorable deed was when he reunited a dog with its mortal owner, using his ability to speak to animals when he was in Toronto, Canada.

This is the lamest most honorable deed ever, btw...

Most dishonorable deed:
Solomon's most dishonorable deed was when he was falsely accused for a crime during his stay in America. The result was staying in prison for two months until proven innocent, and the abrupt end of his first serious relationship.

Why isn't this in his history?

Aspirations: To one day find someone who knows what it's like to be plagued by Chaos magic and if not able to rid himself of it fully, then to control it so he may live a better life than the one he currently has.

Again, the solution to this is rather obvious. it doesn't make sense that he's having such a hard time with this considering that its so easy.

[Solomon Koukon]

How old is he really?

This is something that has been bothering me as Youkai are not immortal, not by any means, and if he was born around the time that Abbadon was, he would have to be dead. Youkai only live to be a few hundred years old.

Fixed.

This isn't necessarily a problem, but I have to tell you that as a moderator, I grow tired of your constant uses of Chaos. I really do.

This is the last one; I swear...

-This is not a special ability. He's an Ookami youkai, after all.
-How does he obtain this ability? It doesn't make sense for him to be able to talk to any animal that isn't a youkai other than wolves.

Fixed and fixed.

Why would those two elements force him to depend on his mother. Also, it's unlikely that it would be discovered that he could use both elements as a pup. Also, what about his father? I know that he died, but she his mother talk about him or anything? And also, if solomon is Abbadon's half brother, is there a relationship of some sort between the two mothers? Does Solomon's mother dislike Abbadon's mother?

I fixed the first part of your query, and added information about Kisaki talking to Solomon about Noel. She wouldn't know anything about Habashi though, so I didn't add that factor in...

Don't be so obvious in stating that Chaos is the source of his troubles. Just say that he doesn't have good luck and move on. You're kind of "giving it away" if you know what I mean.

I fixed everything regarding stating that Chaos is the cause of all his problems (sorry; didn't necessarily feel like quoting all of those statments ^^ )

Quote:Most dishonorable deed:
Solomon's most dishonorable deed was when he was falsely accused for a crime during his stay in America. The result was staying in prison for two months until proven innocent, and the abrupt end of his first serious relationship.



Why isn't this in his history?

Would you like it to be in the history?

I also changed his most honorable deed to make it seem less lame...

[Sanada Tomo]

Give me until this weekend to reply to this properly, particularly because that's when I'll be getting my charger in the mail...You'll have more corrections, or acceptance for this character by the end of the weekend...

[Sanada Tomo]

Um, I've looked at my first revision. I'm sorry if I sounded a bit harsh ^^;; I wasn't trying to, but it even read that way to me... ^^"

Feb 5, 2009 16:17:54 GMT -4 Solomon Koukon said:

Age (generation): Appears 23 (actually around 150)

Lineage: Kouryuu (as fathered by Noel Hakaisha) and Ookami Youkai

I know I'm still nitpicking, but you need to list that Noel was an archangel.

Relatives: Kisaki Koukon (mother: deceased), Noel Hakaisha (father: deceased), Abbadon Hakaisha (half-brother: unknown to Solomon)

I'm worried about this consistency. I really am. Noel would have had to live up until the last 150 years in the timeline. That means that he would have noticed Abbadon's disappearance, and he would be looking for him. I also need to know how he died, in this case, since Celestials typically don't die without being forcibly killed. What was he killed by? Did he have Kisaki become pregnant to try to replace his lost son?

History:
Solomon was conceived by Noel Hakaisha during one of his last assignments on earth before his death, and Kisaki Koukon, an Ookami Youkai of high caliber within her pack. During her pregnancy, the alpha of the Koukon pack decided to ally the pack under Sanada Tomo. But Kisaki refused, wanting nothing to do with the Hell King. She was instantly deemed a traitor and was banished.

I know that the timeline isn't complete yet, but I know for sure that the ordeal with the pack and Sanada Tomoyo won't be compatible. More than 150 years will pass between the allying of youkai tribes and the current year. You'll have to come up with something else.

When Kisaki birthed Solomon, she discovered that he could control Ice magic (one of the two elements she and her pack used), along with Chaos. He was rather fragile during his birth, forcing Solomon to depend highly on his mother to stay alive as a pup. He loved his mother to death, keeping all of her teachings to heart, especially the ones about love.

Again, there's no way that it would be discovered that he "could control ice magic". You were taught to do it, specifically because it's requirement of the pack. Also, are Ice and Chaos the two elements that are used in the pack? The note in the parenthesis are a bit confusing to me.

However, one day a few of the male members of the Koukon pack tracked Kisaki to her location. Hiding as instructed by his mother, Solomon watched helplessly as the alpha and the two other males from the Koukon pack slaughtered Kisaki, leaving Solomon alone in the world.

Again, I need you to look at this and see whether or not you need to change this when you change the first part of your History.

Weaknesses:
Solomon tends to set standards for himself that are too high; even for himself.

that's a bit redundant. Please fix it ^^

[Solomon Koukon]

I completely revamped the entire profile so that it matches what we discussed earlier.

[Sanada Tomo]

This is pretty much perfect. I'm wondering what the other two profiles look like, though... ^^;;