Wrinkle (Narrative)

[Josiah Malkuth]

Another day, another class, another assignment ... another door, another staircase. The brown-haired glasses-wearing young man walked slowly up the stairs, his eyes seeing each step in front of him, but the seemingly glazed look over his eyes implied that his mind was far away from here - that his mind was seeing something far different.

He reached his floor in the dormitory, and breathed a soft sigh as he headed down the hallway to his room. The opening of another door, though, jarred him from what was otherwise a vision of fantasy. It was the door opposite his own at the far side of the hallway, Gavin's room ...

His heart skipped a beat when he realized the state that Gavin was leaving the room. A towel ... just a towel. Of all times, why did he have to be taking a shower now? Josiah remembered he was supposed to be walking then, and his feet returned to what his heart didn't want to do, that is, leave the spot where he was.

The bathroom was at the other end of the hall, and Josiah knew they would have to pass each other as they walked. Knew that with every step, he would get closer to that man ... a perfect man ... his dream guy. Just a few inches taller than him, though less broad at the shoulder - a lean, muscular man with red hair and this little trimmed beard that gave his face an angular masculine appearance.

A few steps, and he got close enough to see the man's abs underneath the skin rippling with each step. Another few steps, and he could count all the freckles across his shoulders and down his arms ... his heart was racing then, practically exploding in his chest.

His eyes widened, a deep breath forced itself in his lungs, and then it happened. The blood rushing through his ears suddenly seemed so much quieter. His heartbeat seemed slow beyond belief. His legs felt like they were wading through water. He looked directly at Gavin, and it was the same for him, like the whole world had decided that it would stretch out this moment as long as possible.

He tried not to look, but he couldn't help himself. He was so close ... he could see the tiny almost white-like hairs that covered the redhead's chest and went down the center of his stomach to where the rest was hidden under the towel. Then Gavin's eyes met his own, and there was nothing. A snapshot. A photograph. The world was still.

He was grinning behind those blue eyes, a confident friendly smile.

Josiah's face went red, and his heartbeat exploded within his chest as the world hastened to catch up with reality, and then they were past each other in the hall. Josiah had to struggle not to look backwards, but hurried to his room instead. He fiddled with the key and the lock for a moment, glimpsing the sight of his crush entering the bathroom and then rushed inside.

He dropped his backpack to the floor and purposefully crashed face first on the bed against the wall. A page turned, and the other being in the room gave something between a chuckle and a sigh. The other being turned another page from where he sat in a chair, then asked of the young man laying on the bed, "That bad, huh?"

"Towel ... hallway ... he smiled ..." the words came out muffled with his face against the bed, but it was loud enough to understand. The other being laughed full-heartedly this time.

"You've really got to talk to him soon."

Josiah rolled over on the bed and sat on the edge of it as he, with a hint of sadness in his voice, replied, "Easy for you to say. You're not gay, and he's just ... perfect. He plays Legos and RPGS, love fantasy and science fiction ... but I don't even know if he's even gay, let alone if I'm his type, let alone if he could learn to love me, let alone if ..." he sighed in disappointment. "There are just too many if's ... I wouldn't even know where to start."

"If you like someone, it's usually best to start by knocking on their door. If they open it, congratulations, you've made a good start."

"And then what?" he asked incredulously.

"That's up to you," the book reader replied offhand.

A flash in his mind: The door opened, Josiah leaned against it and crossed his arms as he spoke, eyes looking up and down over Gavin's body appreciatively.

"Hey sexy, how about I show you a world of pleasure for the next few hours?"

The door opened, Josiah's hands were in his pockets, looking easy going and relaxed as he tried to seem like he was uninterested.

"Hey Gavin, want to hang out for a bit? Got a new game you'd like and I need someone to play co-op with me."

The door opened, Josiah was holding a rose in his hand and rolling it in his fingers as he tried to look confident and happy, but only ended up nervous and meek.

"This is for you ... I love you ..."

The door slammed.

The door slammed.

The door slammed.

Josiah fell back on the bed and groaned. The book reader turned another page and began laughing a bit again. This time, Josiah sat back up a little indignant.

"You enjoy my pain, don't you, Aryn? Be honest, you aren't even reading that book, are you?"

Aryn shook his head and closed up the book, smiling. "Nothing of the sort. Your lack of confidence ... that I suppose makes me laugh."

Josiah turned away dejectedly, as he softly lamented, "What on earth do I have to be confident about ..."

"One day, you'll find out for yourself. In the meantime, I'll leave this here for you," Aryn said as he put down the book he was reading next to Josiah.

"A Wrinkle in Time?" Josiah read the title in confusion.

"Read it. It might speak to you," Aryn said as he put his handle on the door to leave, opening it up and was halfway out before he stopped to add, "Just knock on his door tonight. Good things will come from it, I promise you."

The door shut as Aryn left the room. Josiah looked down at the book again, as if wondering if he should bother. He really wished his friend had been able to tell him something a bit more encouraging than just that ...

[Josiah Malkuth]

The book landed a bit more forcefully than he had intended, but it only bounced once before resting flat on the bed. The front cover looked back up to him, and Josiah just sighed, rubbing his hands over his face to relax. It had been an interesting read, filled with fantastic creatures and places, of travel through time and space, of love conquering the darkness and purifying the lost ... he dared to say, it was actually an enjoyable read.

But he didn't see how it was supposed to speak to him at all.

He leaned back in his chair and wiped his hands down his face and let them fall to his side. The clock was reading around 9 pm - definitely "night." He stared unhappily at the clock, remembering what Aryn had said explicitly.

"Just knock on his door tonight. Good things will come from it, I promise you."

He couldn't remember how many nights he'd gone to bed, wanting to do just that. He couldn't remember how many dreams he'd spent, doing just that. The number increased by one on the clockface, and something twinged inside his chest. He took a deep breath as he stood up, walking towards his own door.

His feet were practically moving on their own accord, as every fiber of his being was forcing him to do what fear had held him back from for so long. The door to his own room closed behind him, and he stood in front of the door across the hall. His hand was raised, poised to strike the wood that stood in between him and the man his heart had been crushing on for so long.

Poised. Motionless. Ready for action, but the trigger suddenly caught on something. No, it was his own finger, that couldn't pull the trigger. His arm just couldn't move. His whole body was frozen. A round stone traveled down his throat as he swallowed. He had to wonder, why was there a stone in his mouth to begin with?

A thousand fears played out in his mind in a fraction of a second, all of his better "judgements" coming to bare and demanding he turn around, lock himself in that room and not come out till morning.

"Just knock on his door tonight. Good things will come from it, I promise you."

Aryn's voice rang in his ear again, and one fear was abated. It rang again, and another fear fell. It rang again and again, and the ripples of his voice wiped away each one that had dared to keep him locked inside that small little world he called a dorm room.

His knuckles rapped on the door, three times.

Footsteps on the other side. His eyes fell to the floor. The door swung inward, and his eyes trailed slowly upwards from the feet, as if tracing an invisible path up the body that now stood in front of him. Gavin held the door open with one hand and leaned against the doorframe with his other hand.

He had the audacity to already be stripped down to sleeping pants, as if preparing for bed. Josiah's eyes were a little bit wider than they should have been then, trying his hardest not to look down as he struggled to speak with this person. Gavin's face did look sleepy, and he blinked lazily. The redhead began to ask, "Ah, hey Jo, what's wrong? You need anything?"

Another frozen moment. He just stared. His heart raced faster and faster even as he tried to remember what he had planned. A sudden burst of terror then, when he realized he couldn't remember anything. His mind blanked entirely. There was just emptiness now, a blank and darkened void as anything remotely close to "thought" found itself rudely expunged from his mind.

His hands reached up and took hold of Gavin's head before time had even seemed to react, and as sound returned to his ears, he was aware of an entirely new sensation.

His lips had reached the man's in front of him. His eyes closed, shut out the light as they kissed a soft gentle kiss that was liable to be the only one they ever shared. Lightning traveled up and down his spine like a highway, and there was a spark between them, a strange jump from his heart across their lips.

It was as if something flew from within his own being and nestled deep inside Gavin's own, a living wish crossing between one heart and another, and found itself perfectly at home between them. He practically felt rather than heard the huge surge of breath that the redhead inhaled, and Josiah let go. His hands trailed down over Gavin's bare neck and down his chest, his eyes opening and turning away.

He practically pushed him away, as he shifted to run. His escape was suddenly impeded, as a strong hand found itself gripping his wrist. He turned halfway to see Gavin holding onto him. Then the redhead smiled, pulled him back around, and did the one thing that in all his imaginings, he never thought was a possible outcome.

Gavin kissed him back. His hands held Josiah's arms as their roles reversed, as now he was the one maintaining the kiss. The redhead was so much more passionate and forceful than Josiah had dared to be, but he was in no way complaining. It was far too much like a dream now. It couldn't possibly be real. It couldn't be. Gavin broke off the kiss then, his face covered in a blissful grin that you wouldn't have believed was possible.

And his eyes ... Josiah had seen those kind of eyes only once before, and never directed towards him - lover's eyes. His voice pratically cracked then, as he tried to speak, "I didn't-"

Gavin's finger came up and rested on Josiah's lips to quiet him. He took Josiah's hand then, and as he led him inside the room, only said one other thing.

"Why didn't you kiss me sooner ..."

The door closed softly shut behind them.

[Josiah Malkuth]

A medic. A war medic. He was running across a wasteland, explosions were distant and near all at once, making fear and desperation much closer companions in his mind than they should have been. A sound like bugs kept touching his ears. He practically slid along the ground on his knees when he finally got to Jackson, who was clutching his side as an inky redness puddled at the ground by him.

"You're gonna be okay, Jack, you're gonna be ok," he lied, and he wondered to whom he was lying. Something cocked, and his eyes went up to meet a gun barrel held by a soldier from the other side. His breath caught in his mouth, and he hesitated to do anything. Even as his heart froze, he felt something rise up out of it, and flew through the air like an invisible wave outwards from his body.

The gun lowered slowly. The enemy was ... smiling. He nodded, probably the only way he knew to communicate his feelings. Then the enemy ran off in another direction, to do who knows what. The medic's hands went quickly to work.

The scene shifted.

A knight. No, a wizard? He wore armor and a robe over that. His body felt impossibly strong and ... radiant? He was staring down something he knew instinctually as a dragon. The dragon was gathering a massive blast of energy. His body tensed, and he felt something like the force that had extended from his heart, coming from other places in his body - all of his body, at once.

The energy was released, and suddenly all that energy inside released outwards. Time slowed to a standstill. The blast remained where it was, the dragon was a statue of anger and rage. The knight wizard breathed a sigh of relief, somehow the only thing not affected. He dashed to the left, then leaned against a wall and crossed his arms striking a relaxed pose. Time snapped back, and the blast incinerated where had just stood. The dragon's face was irate.

"Wanna try again? Seriously, do it. I can keep this up all day," he bluffed.

The scene shifted again.

He was a woman, in long flowing white garb. He was regal, confident. His hands were raised upwards, as if to bestow blessings upon the lines of commoners and soldiers he passed at this assembly. Everywhere he looked, there was a smiling face and glad heart. He knew instinctively, automatically, that they all loved him - her.

All but one. He had just enough time to sense it, sense the unexpected malice where there should have been compassion, to turn. His eyes - her eyes - met the dark man kneeling behind the parapets far above the courtyard for only a moment. It was a long moment. Just long enough for her heart to be overwhelmed by sadness and pity for the life he had been forced into, her opposite in this unfair game called a universe.

A crossbow bolt suddenly found itself sticking out of his chest - her chest. He staggered, a pain spreading through his body unknowable to those who have not suffered such a wound. The people screamed, dozens poured forward. Hands began to catch her body. The regal white clothing was already staining red, but he had to hold on, to somehow find the strength to say one last thing as darkness pressed down on his eyelids.

"Forgive ... him ..."

Josiah burst upwards from where he was laying on the bed, gasping in the darkness as he sat up, grabbing his own chest at the phantom pain. He couldn't see anything, but somehow, that was better than the dreams he'd just gone through. They'd started out well enough ... Gavin ... that dream had been so perfect. Perfect in a totally corney, "That should have been a Gay Romance movie" or something way. All it needed was a violin in the background.

But all those other dreams ... what the hell did he eat today? Or maybe it was that crazy book Aryn had him read ...

A hand suddenly found itself on his chest over his own, and someone with a strong arm was pulling him back down where he had just lain. A groggy half-asleep voice slurred out, "Go back to sleep..."

Someone's face then shifted onto his chest as the owner of the arm and the voice cuddled in closer against him.

Wait, what? he found himself thinking. He knew that voice already, and even though he couldn't see, he found himself automatically realizing the truth. His hand reached over and softly stroked the face, just to be sure beyond a shadow of a doubt. The half-asleep body gave something akin to a giggle, as if the slight touch had tickled him.

Then ... it wasn't a dream? But it had to have been. It was so unbelievable. There was no reason it should have happened like that. It was like magic.

His thoughts and body froze at the same time.

It was like magic.

[Josiah Malkuth]

(This post takes place after the events of "What does this mean?")

He crumpled forward onto his knees out of the chair, eyes going wide as he almost hit the floor after waking up so suddenly. He was wheezing hard, chest beating so hard. He looked around in the light, saw the clock that read 11 pm, the calendar that read yesterday's date.

Never was he so glad to wake up from a nightmare. He crawled a few feet on his hands and knees before pushing himself back up to a standing position, getting to his dresser to pull out an inhaler. Taking the two puffs faster than he should have, he looked around the room and saw everything as it should have been.

The book was on the bed though. He must have thrown it when he woke up from the dream - the dream, his mind sidetracked immediately when he thought about it. Pulling out pen and paper, he quickly set about writing down all the details he could think of before the dream faded.

He got through half of it before he found himself asking, What was up with that dream? Why did it feel so bad? It really wasn't that bad at first. Heck, the part with Gavin absolutely was dreamy as the phrase goes. It wasn't until the second half when things got to be so extremely weird, when all those others started showing up.

It was just ... irrational. Like his brain got locked into being unnecessarily nervous, concerned, and his heart decided to go along with it for a laugh. Of course, when did a dream ever make sense ... He sighed again, hearing it accompanied by just a tiny rasp in his chest. He really could have done without all this tonight.

He looked at the clock again. Was there even any sleeping after a night like this? He breathed again, and realized he felt even more tired than when he must have fallen asleep reading that book Aryn left him. It wasn't worth thinking about any more right now. Maybe he could figure it out tomorrow ... he was asleep within a few minutes of crashing back onto the bed, the book close by his head in the dark.

[Josiah Malkuth]

Another day, another person's footsteps echoing through the hall as they ran, another class to get ready for. The brown-haired glasses-wearing young man brushed his teeth slowly, his eyes staring back at him, but the seemingly glazed look over his eyes implied that his mind was far away from here - that his mind was seeing something far different.

It was comforting, to be back in the routine. To be back in a world without risk, to be safe, it pushed everything else away and brought back the calm to his heart. No werewolves. No seers. No crazy dreams within dreams and false awakenings. Just normal everyday life.

The scrape of metal on metal told him that a shower curtain had opened. Everyday, like clockwork. He knew who it was without looking, heard the familiar thud of his steps as he walked by, saw the red hair out of the corner of his eye reflected in the mirror.

He closed his eyes then and sighed through his nose, still brushing his teeth as he was. After that dream, there was something jarring about seeing him now. His eyes closed, and he waited for the footsteps to pass and for him to pass by once more, for daydreams to follow dreams and let comforting neutral reality settle in once more.

The two arms that wrapped around his and the head that rested on his shoulder made his eyes open again in surprise. His eyes saw his own surprise, then shifted slightly to the left in the mirror to see Gavin staring back, face confident and blissfully happy, eyes twinkling in a star-struck manner.

"You left so fast this morning, you didn't give me a chance to say goodbye," he said in almost a whisper. The proximity of his body, the sheer pressure of it against his back, and he just trying to brush his teeth, was enough to turn him redder than Gavin's hair - do not pass go, do not collect $200.

A day's worth and three lives of vague memories flew by so fast he could barely catch them all, running into a glass wall that shattered upon impact and crumbled down the illusions of normalcy. It wasn't a dream. None of it was a dream. The evidence was staring him - quite happily he noticed - right in the face.

The two of us really...

But then... then there really was such a thing as magic.

And then... then he really did have such magic.

And... all those people were real.

Gavin noticed his rather stunned expression, and gave a closed-mouth laugh. His arms started to pull away and just patted him on each shoulder. "Sorry, probably best not to be hugging you while you brush your teeth. I'll see you in a bit." And then he was gone, walking out of the dorm bathroom with a kind of stride that those who recognized it made them smile at his luck.

Josiah just stood there, toothbrush in mouth, statuesque, staring at his own reflection. His mind was seeing something far different.

[Josiah Malkuth]

The second-hand winded around the clock, measuring out the moments as they passed. One hand was held just below the other, fingers feeling out drumbeat of blood within. Watching the clock from where he sat on the floor, he tried to breathe evenly, slowly, to let his heart find a gentle pace.

Peace. Calm. He couldn't keep letting his heart rule him like this. Now was the time for the head, not the heart, to lead. Not like his head was proving to be a good leader either, but while his heart was leading, he seemed permanently stuck in the fight-or-flight mode. He needed to think, not run, and that meant first being calm.

He tried to ignore the fact that yesterday - or was it the day before? - he didn't know how to do this calming exercise, and pocketed that realization among the many other new things he had to consider. But first things first, as the saying goes: he had to reread the record of the time that had already been and was now being done again.

The notes were a little scattered, considering how upset he'd been at the time, but the pieces could be pegged together easily enough. All that really meant was he had a lot of nothing and a little bit of everything. That was alright though - with a clear mind, he was able to put pieces down where they were missing. The puzzle of the last day started to take shape.

It started with Aryn. No, that wasn't quite correct. It started with a risk. With a kiss. He recognized it automatically, had felt something in that moment, but it being his first kiss, he thought it was normal. But, well, if you add the existence of magic into the equation, that makes the happily-ever-after romance ending that transpired afterwards ... more ... believable?

He realized then, that if that was the case, he had accidentally done something to Gavin to make him the way he was. What's the word they use in those books, 'enchanted'? He didn't like the thought of that. He didn't like the thought of that at all. He purposefully shunted his line of thought onto something else.

Going back. He remembered that especially, when everything to to be too much, he had wanted to do that, had wanted it with every fiber of his being. His hand went to his chest then, as he remembered just how much his heart had been beating then.

His heart, yes, his heart ... when his heart had beaten so strongly, that's when he "woke up." He remembered, too, how much his heart was beating before he kissed ... he stopped in midthought, still not wanting to think about that just yet. What he did want to think about, was his heart.

Whenever his heart really started pounding, things started to slow down. Always before, he had chalked it up to adrenaline. Though ... there was that one time with the drunks ... if he wasn't expressly trying to remain calm, he would have hit himself in the face. He didn't know why he hadn't realized it sooner.

There was no way a person of his skill could have taken them on. He wasn't a fighter, and most decidedly not a martial artists. Heck, he'd never even thrown a punch before. Hurting people just wasn't in his nature. But when push came to shove, everything had just ... slowed down.

He looked at the clock again. Three events, that he could only consider to be "magical." In one, time slowed down. In another, time wound backwards. He checked his notes then to satisfy an idle curiosity: it had been morning when he'd met them, and late evening when he "woke up." It couldn't have been more than twelve hours at the most, probably less by an hour or two.

And in another ... someone fell in love with him. But ... was that really so unbelievable as he first thought? In the other cases, it had been true-blue impossibilities that revoked the normal laws in favor of something else. Yet, and there is no telling how much more better he felt for it, there was nothing to say that what they had really was the result of any magic at all.

Then what happened might ... that is to say, the two of us really could ... He smiled at the idea of it, just as happily as the very night itself. That had to be it. Gavin really did ... he left the thought unfinished so as not to jinx it.

For the first time since that kiss, Josiah exhaled a breath of pure and utter relief, a breath of ecstasy at the simple realization that things were alright, and things were going to be alright. His dream wasn't a nightmare, no, it wasn't a dream even. This was the world now, a world of magic. The possibilities seemed so much broader then they had the night before. Were he not reveling in his previous revelation, that would have terrified him.

The most important possibility was the matter of who to turn to. It was after he had left the first time. If he left now, the people who were there might still be there. One of them might be able to help, to give him answers to the questions he still had ... if only he hadn't already made a fool of himself. Walking back into that would probably make him just as nervous as before, and then where would he be?

His stomach rumbled to break the silence of his thoughts. He looked down automatically, and realized he hadn't actually eaten breakfast the first time ... or the second time... Truly, thinking about things like this was going to take some getting used to ... but there was the strangest sensation of excitement about it as well ...