All in Good Time (Cielle/FINISHED)

[Josiah Malkuth]

(Marked for Cielle, unless Tomo wishes to use another character instead. If anyone else wishes to join, please comment on the corresponding RP Request thread.)

In one of the darker parts of the campus library, his fingers greedily picked up one book, opening it to read its contents. Pages flashed by, reading only so long as to spend a few seconds to gather what it said before moving on. Each was less help then the last, treating what he wanted to know like the fiction he had thought it to be not a few hours ago.

Magic. The library staffed seemed unsure of to put it in fiction or philosophy, or maybe religious studies. So here it was, tucked in a corner out of sight like the librarian's dirty little secret. He didn't know why though; there was absolutely nothing of worth among these pages. Each history was on some kind of cult, or culture, anecdotal evidence about this person or that, or, his favorite, crystals. Lots and lots of crystals.

He didn't know why he expected to find anything of worth in them. If the secrets to the universe could be found in a book, something told him that book would not be left out on a bookshelf such as this. Yet every time he told himself that, he picked up another book and began the process of flipping pages one after the other after the other.

It was just easier dealing with books then people. Books couldn't hurt you. Books couldn't make fun of you. But books were a lot like people too. They could comfort you when you needed it. They were, more reliably than people, something you could always turn to. Books had a power all their own, and the good ones were constantly trying to tell you something: you're not alone.

These ones, however, could safely be labeled "not good books." He sighed as he put back another text. Wasting time like this really wasn't going to accomplish anything. He wondered if, subconsciously, he wanted to waste time on purpose, to put as much distance between himself and the others he had met as possible. But the fact was, he needed someone to learn more.

That, or a good book.

[Cielle Blanche]

[this thread, just as a note, takes place after "What does this mean?"]

Cielle felt like a stalker. After leaving the partially secluded area of campus, wherein she had met with the most odd assortment of creatures that she had even seen in her life, as well as an unendowed Human, she was a bit worried. While she had tried to down play the experience with the boy as something that shouldn't have been taken seriously, that was slightly for his benefit. Finding out about magic for the first time was one of the most traumatizing experiences that a person could go through, from what her father had told her, and considering that the boy disappeared into thin air, he either had an ability that he wasn't telling anyone about, or he wasn't even aware that he had it, which would explain the ridiculously outrageous reaction that he made to all of them being on his college campus all at once. Cielle hadn't even gotten his name, but she felt obligated to see to it that this Human child was taken care of properly. Guilt from startling him? Perhaps, but she'd rather try to comfort him now than read about a boy committing suicide because he thought that the was insane. Humans were weird like that, and she knew that from experience.

Well, to be honest, all races were weird, but she didn't really want to follow that train of thought at the moment. It had taken awhile to even find a place where she could recognize his scent. Despite being a somewhat small establishment the campus was larger than she would have liked and it was difficult to find a single humans when the area was littered with them. There always seemed to be some students about somewhere, and it honestly made her wonder how their small group of misfits had managed to gather without another human discovering them. Of course, there was the chance that someone else had been listening in, but she didn't think so. She would have smelled them if they had.

In any case, the boy's scent was nearby, as she proceeded up a cemented walkway on the campus to building that she easily recognized as a library. Reading was the last thing that she wanted to do right now, considering that she had just finished her own work with her father in reviewing lots of paperwork for Hell, as well as the fact that the first thing that she had done when she left for her vacation in the Mortal Realm was register at a Human school. She was read out, for the moment, and she was not interested in having her eyes process any more information.

However, duty was duty, and she tried to ignore the smell of crusty old pages as she stepped inside, looking around calmly and trying to sniff the boy out.

[Josiah Malkuth]

Three rows of books and they were all the same, none to help and each as helpless as the last. At the last, he very nearly threw the book against a wall, as if that would somehow get the point across to his personal invisible peanut gallery, that he was officially frustrated by wasting his time like this and unable to get himself to do anything else. But throwing a book would accomplish nothing, save injuring the book, and malicious destruction of text books was not a crime he wished to have on his record.

He bent at the knees to crouch down to the bottom row then. Reading them would be just as much a waste of time as the rest, he finally accepted. Still, his fingers trailed over their backs as he turned his head slightly sideways to read their titles. It was a pointless gesture to make himself feel better about not even picking them up, but he felt better having had at least some contact with them, so he could say to himself later he'd at least looked.

Bracing himself on one knee and the bookshelf itself, he stood back up and fixed his pants when they shifted from crouching down. That was done more out of self-consciousness then anything really necessary, but by then, he'd decided that he'd run out of patience on something wasting his time. Walking towards the exit on the same path he'd taken to get there, while trying to think of what next to do, he rounded the corner of a bookshelf, only to come within a few feet of a familiar face.

His stride caught short as the unexpected surprise made him stop. He instinctively took a half step back and shifted his body at an angle to the right, as if to minimize his profile. Eyes narrowing with slight suspiciousness, his voice however remained more confident then it had been when last they'd met, also betraying a sense of curiosity as he simply asked, "You?" With his mind running a number of situations in his head, he didn't know what else to ask at the moment.

[Cielle Blanche]

She almost bowled into him; it was her lucky day. "You?" he asked, and she wasn't quite sure what he meant by the question, but perhaps it meant that he was feeling a bit better about their last encounter.

But she was still cautious. "Please," she said slowly, "Don't. Run. I'm not going to hurt you or anything. I just want to talk to you." She wasn't sure if she should take a step toward him or wait and she decided to do the latter, as opposed to being forward. She wasn't sure how he was coping with the meeting on campus, and she didn't want to leave him to do something drastic, as she had been telling the Fae or the Harpy. She smiled and sighed, waiting for his reaction.

[Josiah Malkuth]

Fate was such a silly thing. He was looking for answers in a library, it seemed he would find them in a library. Of course, Fate loves irony, and so that it should be a person and not a book that held all the answers ... well, he almost shook his head in disbelief at the way things were turning out.

Her voice sounded sincere ... and ... kind. Maybe he was just projecting what he wanted to hear on her, to hear a kind voice that actually cared. It made him feel special. And that in turn gave him confidence. With a slide of his foot, he adjusted to a firmer, more casual stance. Then, with just a hint of gratitude, replied, "I think I'd like that."

[Cielle Blanche]

"Okay..." Cielle said, taking a breath. She hadn't expected him to agree so easily. Usuallly situations like this require a chase or some sort of magic to subdue the person fleeing...but this--this was easy. She looked around, eyes darting quickly to see where the most appropriate place would be to discuss this with him. She didn't want to take him too far away from the campus because he lived here, most likely, and had other classes. An empty classroom? That didn't seem very secure; anyone could close in on them at any moment, and she didn't go here. There was no way to know whether or not there would be classes in any of the rooms in the hall.

So she gestured back into the library. She knew that she had to make a quick decision because she didn't want the boy to start feeling uneasy. "The library's just as good a place as any. I'm sure that you have a lot of questions," she said, recalling how his face had looked when she had seen him earlier. "I'll answer as many of them as I have clearance to answer." Of course, she wasn't willing to answer any questions about Hell or its inner workings; her father would kill her. Again, she waited for him to make the next move. If her father had taught her anything, it was that letting Humans believe that they were the privileged ones usually worked out for the best when first meeting them. Authority could always be established later and flaunting power unnecessarily never got anyone anywhere. Her father had spoken from experience with that one, and so Cielle was more inclined to believe it.

[Josiah Malkuth]

Fate had the weirdest sense of humor. Here he was in a library, trying to find answers to all the questions he had, and here Fate had deigned to give him the answer to his questions. But of course, it couldn't be a book. Finding a book in a library would have made too much sense for Fate. No, irony dictated that it had to be a person, who probably had never even entered this place before, that Fate had sent to him when he needed her.

He shifted slightly, his stance slightly less defensive and more casual as she spoke. As she gestured back to where he had come from, he turned around halfway, looking over his shoulder every few seconds to see that she was following. Back among those worthless texts on the subject, he knew the question he needed to ask. It was the source of everything right now, the question behind the questions.

"Can you," he trailed off his sentence, realizing the situation he was in. In the back of a library, with a woman who had been a wolf, on his second time around this day—the slap of his hand against his face was louder than it might have been. Enough. Enough debating, enough worrying, enough overthinking over every little thing. For once, he was going to listen and accept. The gift horse's mouth was fine. If it wasn't, he'd find out when he needed to. He dragged his hand over his face then, before leaning back against a bookshelf.

"I'm sorry, I've been ... thinking about things a lot lately. I've had a lot to think about..." he sighed, then tried again. "What I was about to say was, can you tell me about magic? That's really ... the others brought it up, and I think ... well, I'd like to know more about that if I could."

[Cielle Blanche]

Cielle patiently followed him to a place that he felt comfortable--sort of at the back, but she didn't know what sorts of books were being displayed there. Just the sight of books made her excited, actually. College libraries weren't a place that she visited very often.

When he asked his question, she was rather startled. It was kind of broad, and it was actually a difficult thing to answer. So startled, Cielle was, that she lost track of herself and her accent made itself rather apparent. "Um...ah...well, you see...I'm not sure. I know that there are different kinds of magic, of course," she replied pensively, thinking back to what her father had taught her. "Lots and lots. Water and Fire and Air and Ice and Force and Spirits and a lot of others. I don't know a lot about most of them; I'm not a fighter. I know about Light, because that's what I use..." her voice faded away while she tried to get her thoughts together. She chuckled at her own ignorance. "I'm sorry. I normally don't have to explain this from the beginning. I just...do it and...I've been trained to do it so it works..."

[Josiah Malkuth]

"Different kinds," he repeated, thinking over the list. He hadn't done anything like that yet ... hadn't made something burn at least. He wasn't sure exactly how one would know if you'd done air magic, and he hadn't been close enough to a body of water in the last 24 hours to know. He thought of asking her if there was a Time magic, but he already knew the answer must be yes.

A stream of other questions passed through his thoughts and out of his mouth and sequential, steady pace. "How do you learn to use magic? Can you cast whatever you want? Or are people restricted somehow ... and once a person does have magic, how do they cast it? Is it like, a mental thing or physical ... verbal? Does it draw on your life or a special power?" He was trying to put the last few hours in perspective, and while he didn't like being misleading, he also didn't want to put too many cards on the table at once.

"That other guy, the one who was all bundled up. He said he was a seer. He didn't look ... I mean, was he human? Come to think of it ... are you human?" It took him two seconds to realize that questioning someone's humanity was generally considered rude. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. The other woman called herself a harpie. I just thought ... I'm not sure what to think right now."

[Cielle Blanche]

Cielle wasn't sure exactly what started, but she would try not to become entangled in any webs with this boy. She wouldn't be the one teaching him magic, anyway, and she hoped that he wouldn't do anything foolish with the knowledge that she was going to give him. She couldn't stop now, though; she had decided to console him and the best way to work the shock out of his system was to answer some questions. It seemed so far that he knew absolutely nothing, and that did make her feel a bit better. From what father said, fanatics about magic were the hardest to get along with.

She decided to try to answer his questions one at a time, dropping her voice to a whisper. "I dunno. I learned to use magic because my father taught me." She balled up her hand into a fist, and when she opened it a moment later, there was a very minuscule orb of light there, that illuminated their faces as well as their little quaint corner of the library. "I can cast what's in my ability to cast," she said then, taking on the second question. "And I guess it's a mental thing, but I don't know how Humans do it. Papa said something about Humans and magic when I was learning, but I don't remember. Something about it is different, but..." she trailed off again, and decided to tackle the next question since she didn't know. "It'd definitely not drawn from your life. My papa is very, very old. Like Bible old, is what he told me. And I'd probably not live to be older than one of you if that was the case. It's the world around us that gives us power. And the Spirits. Nothing would exist if not for them..." Her father would be very disappointed to hear the half-explanation that she was giving, but all of her lessons had been many, many years ago, and she really couldn't remember them word for word. "The man in the cloak was human," she said, a prickle of magic--nostalgia from the quiet one in the wood, perhaps--gave her a small shiver. "...but I am not. It's not a terribly offensive question. I'm not."

[Josiah Malkuth]

"It's the world around us that gives us power. And the Spirits. Nothing would exist if not for them..." Oh sure, mentioning a father who was "Bible old" certainly got his attention. 6000 years or so was nothing to laugh at, and with everything else, he wasn't really in a position to think she wasn't telling the truth about that. Finding out she wasn't human was half of a surprise as well, because even though she had that whole wolf thing earlier, here she was looking as human as could be. However, that right there, about the Spirits, was decidedly new information to him.

"What do you mean, the Spirits? Who-or what-are they, and what do they have to do with existence? Without them ... as in implying that they created the universe or that they sustain the universe like an intangible force that permeates all life? Do they like ... facilitate the process of the world giving people power? You're making it sound to be more than that though ... how does the world give people power anyway? I don't understand, do you mean people draw on it for strength, or just that their power comes from it and they perform magic all on their own?"

That was a lot of questions to ask, he realized. She had said she'd answer his questions though, so she should have expected some level of curiosity. Still, as was his nature, he added in there, "I'm sorry. I read a lot ... fiction, non-fiction, science, drama and fantasy ... I like learning, and I'm getting the impression that there's a lot I don't know, a lot you stand to teach me, even if in passing. Please tell me what you know. I think I need to learn."

[Cielle Blanche]

This boy was ridiculously calm for someone receiving information of this caliber. She laughed at his questions, although she wasn't trying to seem mean--he was just so enthusiastic. "I suppose all college students ask these sorts of questions when they find out about magic?" she wasn't sure how he would react to her returned inquiry, so she just moved on to answer those questions instead, still giggling through her answers. "They're just spirits, as far as I know. They have great power, the Great ones, but there are others that are smaller. I wish that I could show you, but I'm afraid I'm not bonded to one..." she sighed regretfully. Another thing that she had missed out on. Papa didn't have one, either, but as least he had a servant. Other than her pack, which she had left behind, she was very alone, without a traveling companion. "They didn't make the world," she responded suddenly; Papa was very adamant about that--about establishing that there was no religion, that there was no Almighty. Her mother had been born French-Catholic, and for some reason Papa had been very afraid that she had adopted her ideology, despite being only ten at that time. "The Shijin, the Beast-Gods," she recited--for this, she remembered--"they made the world and all that was in it, including my Papa and the Spirits and everything else." Her father had almost beaten this information into her. Cielle wasn't a very superstitious person, or religious in any aspect; her papa worshiped Suzaku, but Cielle did not see the point in revering Gods that were no longer a part of the world. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and continued, "Suzaku, Byakko, Genbu, Seiryuu and Kouryuu..." she said, a picture of each animal appearing in her head as she spoke. She wasn't sure how to answer the last question, so instead she stated, "We channel what is already here. We just can't see it..." It was only as an afterthought that she added, "...but I can't teach you anything..."

[Josiah Malkuth]

He wasn't expecting her to laugh, though he supposed it must have seemed comical how very serious he went about asking such questions. After all, they were serious to him, but then again, he was trying specifically not to let his emotions get the better of him the way they had yesterday. Still, her laugh eased up a lot of the tension in the situation.

"I suppose all college students ask these sorts of questions when they find out about magic?"

He smiled back, "You're in a slightly better position to know than me, I'm afraid. I've only known someone could have a reaction like this for a few hours."

"They're just spirits, as far as I know. They have great power, the great ones," - now there was a tautology, he thought to himself - "but there are others that are smaller. I wish that I could show you, but I'm afraid I'm not bonded to one..." she sighed regretfully. He wondered what the sigh was for, but all he sensed was a longing. Was a spirit that precious? That had to be something more to it then just power.

"They didn't make the world," she responded suddenly, and he realized he was analyzing unnecessarily again. Old habits are hard to break. "The Shijin, the Beast-Gods, they made the world and all that was in it, including my Papa and the Spirits and everything else."

"Shijin" sounded Japanese, and he tried to remember something of their culture. It seemed that the questions he was posing were making her reflect on things herself, because then she shook her head to clear her thoughts and continued, "Suzaku, Byakko, Genbu, Seiryuu and Kouryuu..."

That definitely made the connection then. The vermillion bird, the white tiger, the black tortoise, the azure dragon and the golden dragon ... those were definitely straight out of Chinese and Japanese legend, stretching far back into antiquity. And of course, logically, if one myth was true, it stood to reason others might be as well. Now he had a place to begin.

"We channel what is already here. We just can't see it ... but I can't teach you anything..."

He didn't know if she meant that because she had light magic, simply wasn't a teacher - she admitted herself not to knowing much about the dynamics of magic - or if it was cause she was concerned for him. They had said earlier that magic can attract others with it, the way all those others were attracted by it before. And if her initial reaction to the Fae was any indication, probably not everyone with it had good intentions.

That was life, of course. Whatever the case was though, his standing had just increased by leaps and bounds in this single encounter. For that, he knew only gratitude. "I understand. Thank you, for everything you could teach me. That definitely puts a lot of things in perspective."

[Cielle Blanche]

His reactions were okay, she guessed. He seemed rather natural, and while she had been expecting him to be a bit more freaked out she chalked it up to a miracle that he wasn't. She wasn't sure exactly how she would have dealt with a crying child who didn't know what to do with the knowledge of magic. She was conflicted in this case. There was a possibility that he was just dealing with the information rather well, someone who was not particularly fond of their reality, perhaps, and wanted escape. Someone who wanted a bit more excited. On the other hand, he could have been contemplating the exploitation of magic.

It was a hard call, and it was because of this that she was glad that he hadn't shown any particular interest in learning Light magic; and like she had said papa had mentioned to her that Humans don't have the same magic--she didn't think that it was likely to have worked. She smiled through it, sure that she was simply being paranoid about the matter. "You're welcome," she said, hiding her thoughts behind her courteous attitude. "I'm glad that I've helped a little." She thought, for a moment, to add something about a resource that he could seek out just in case he actually did want to learn something for the sake of knowledge, but her words caught in her throat and she figured that they'd best stay there.

[Josiah Malkuth]

Courtesies exchanged, he wasn't really sure what to say next. He didn't really want to leave, but he didn't know what to do either. Then, all at once, the switch he had forcibly flipped off in his mind pulled back into the 'on' position, and his thoughts began forming around everything that she had said. A whole set of new questions bubbled to the surface even as his mind poured over everything she had said, analyzing it in a fresh way.

"So if you're not human, what are you? You were a wolf, I saw that clear enough. Does that make you some kind of werewolf? Literary convention says werewolves only transform under a full moon, but you did it in broad daylight. Does that have something to do with your light magic? Can you emulate the moon's light or something?"

"The others that were there yesterday, the Fae and the Sprite ... exactly how many different races are there? Can you all pass as human? Do you all live among us all the time, or is there someplace you can go to get away? Is there any kind really bad I should know to avoid? Or anyone really good I could go to for help?"

"And the Spirits, the ones you mentioned - do we get ghost stories from them? Are they active in the world, making things run smoothly behind the scenes, or not so smoothly, depending on their type? What do they look like? Do they glow blue, or are they transparent? Can you touch them, or are they intangible?"

"The Shijin, too - what about them? Do they really look like as the myths portray them? You said they were the creators but nothing else. What do they do? Are they still around, watching? Are they really gods? Do they talk to people? Do they want anything?"

He started talking faster, sounding a bit more nervous as he did. It was like his brain was on fire and he didn't know how to put it out. "I've got so many questions, I've been reading books my whole life, and it's like I don't even know anything about the way the world really works. How does the world not know about all this?"

"No, it wouldn't of course. With everything else, I practically had a nervous breakdown yesterday. If everyone knew, there'd be complete and total panic. And then everything would go to heck. It's hard enough to keep order when the worst you have to deal with is a gun. And then people fear what they don't understand, and people have a hard enough time getting over skin color of all things, which I will never understand, let alone dealing with people who aren't even human. Everything would get absolutely crazy and then..."

His tone trailed off, and after letting his mind and his mouth get away from, a single chilling thought put out the fire. The haste was replaced with steadiness, the nervousness with a coldness of his own. "Why are you even talking with me? Why are you telling me any of this? Wouldn't it be safer to let me be ignorant?"

[Cielle Blanche]

He definitely caught her off guard with the extra questions. "Wait...wait a minute... Let me figure this out." She had to count them all in her head; she had been so sure just moments ago that their little rendez-vous was about to be adjourned. Alas, no.

"No, I'm not human not at all. But I'm not a werewolf, because yes I can decide when I change. Werewolves don't exist, silly." But she didn't point out that her kind were pretty much considered werewolves among Humans. She added instead, "Well, I do like being called loup-garou. Mais non, je ne suis pas..." She had changed to French without meaning to, and she laughed. "I'm sorry. I get my wires crossed sometimes, between the three languages that I do know." She giggled again, and continued, more confident about answering his questions with more detail now. "Well, I personally can emulate the Moon's light, but I don't need that to transform. I was born loup-garou, but the magic came much later. As far as races, there are lots and lots, most likely more than I've ever met in my lifetime. The formal name for my race is Youkai, but we are not just wolves. The major animal Kingdoms have youkai like me, able to change form. Then yes, there's Fae. But there are all Fallen like mon père, and Upright like Lady Chiyo and all sorts of other things. Papa used to also know a vampire, I think, but I thought that it was quite irritating and I was very glad when he was gone..." she realized quickly that she was trailing off. "Now, what was your next question? Right. Who to avoid. Well, vampires for obvious reasons. Celestials in general," Cielle said with a shudder, remembering Tai and how badly she had feared for life. Papa is good to me, but I know that he is not so good to everyone else."

She resolved that she would keep her information about the Celestials vague; she wasn't sure how much they wanted Humans like this boy to know, and she didn't want to make anyone in Heaven angry about it, because it would come back to Papa and then he would be upset at her. She was a bit too old to be worrying about her father's feeling, but the fact of the matter was that he was going through a lot of things at the moment and she didn't want to make them worse. "Actually, better advice would be to avoid everything. If there is something magical that you're supposed to be involved in, it'll find you regardless of what you're doing. If you go looking for something that you're not supposed to be a part of, you're likely to get her. My maman..." Well, she preferred not to get into that story. "In any case, things didn't end well for her. Don't be like her. Keep your nose in your own business. If you're in trouble and you need help, I suppose that then you could go about looking for something--I assume that you'd have little to lose at that point. But being careful is important.

"...Spirits? Um...yes? No...? Papa says that they're the reason why things run. But I don't think that they do anything special. They just are. And so this IS. We ARE. That's just how it works. The Shjin made it that way..." the bubbliness in her voice faded away as she changed the subject to them. "No, they're not around anymore. And they won't ever be," she said with a note of finality. "They might as well be dead."

The boy had begun to talk more about himself after that, mentioning how much shock he had been in yesterday. "Everything else?" Cielle asked, leaning forward toward him. She tilted her head side ways, and she asked very softly, "Why don't you tell me about yourself, then?"

[Josiah Malkuth]

"No, I'm not human not at all. But I'm not a werewolf, because yes I can decide when I change. Werewolves don't exist, silly." That was one myth he could check off his list as being untrue then. "Well, I do like being called loup-garou." He made a mental note of that name to research later, as she slid into a string of French he didn't know.

She laughed again. It was such a simple thing, but it made him smile, made him calm down a little bit. "I'm sorry. I get my wires crossed sometimes, between the three languages that I do know." Three? Wow, he thought. I know a smattering of a few, but nowhere near enough to be considered even bilingual, let alone trilingual.

"Well, I personally can emulate the Moon's light, but I don't need that to transform. I was born loup-garou, but the magic came much later." Born, she said. For some reason that seemed important, but he couldn't figure out why yet. "As far as races, there are lots and lots, most likely more than I've ever met in my lifetime. The formal name for my race is Youkai, but we are not just wolves. The major animal Kingdoms have youkai like me, able to change form."

"Then yes, there's Fae. But there are all Fallen like mon père, and Upright like Lady Chiyo and all sorts of other things. Papa used to also know a vampire, I think, but I thought that it was quite irritating and I was very glad when he was gone..." Vampires? There were real vampires? Well that's the last time I walk at night alone.

"Now, what was your next question? Right. Who to avoid. Well, vampires for obvious reasons. Celestials in general," Cielle said with a shudder, and he felt a twinge of emotion, as if she was remembering an especially bad memory. "Papa is good to me, but I know that he is not so good to everyone else."

It sounded like her father was one of those Celestials, but she had also said she was born a Youkai. Did she have the blood of both then? She hadn't said anything about that. Before he could inquire as to what that meant, she continued.

"Actually, better advice would be to avoid everything. If there is something magical that you're supposed to be involved in, it'll find you regardless of what you're doing. If you go looking for something that you're not supposed to be a part of, you're likely to get her. My maman..." she trailed off again, and for the first time, he realized that some of these questions might be hitting closer to home with her own life.

"In any case, things didn't end well for her. Don't be like her. Keep your nose in your own business." He decided not to ask about her heritage then. "If you're in trouble and you need help, I suppose that then you could go about looking for something--I assume that you'd have little to lose at that point. But being careful is important."

"...Spirits? Um...yes? No...? Papa says that they're the reason why things run. But I don't think that they do anything special. They just are. And so this IS. We ARE. That's just how it works. The Shjin made it that way..." the bubbliness in her voice faded away as she changed the subject to them.

"No, they're not around anymore. And they won't ever be," she said with a note of finality. "They might as well be dead." That sounded almost harsh, like she was upset, or maybe angry about that. There was so much he just couldn't see from where he stood, so much he didn't know, and didn't even know he didn't know.

"Everything else?" Cielle asked, leaning forward toward him. She tilted her head side ways, and she asked very softly, "Why don't you tell me about yourself, then?" The most dangerous sentence in the world, that. He barely even knew her, but he felt like he owed her so much. He didn't even know where to begin.

Everything came back to that night with Gavin ... but he couldn't share something like his love interests with someone he'd just met. The only one who knew about that side of him was Aryn, and Aryn just knew. He hadn't told him, and he hadn't even told his parents.

But ... she'd told him so much, had trusted him with so much. His heart started beating a little faster as his own nervousness started to overtake him again, made uncomfortable by what he felt he was obligated to say. A few lies here or there could make things passable without having to let loose the full truth.

"I'm ... you see," he was practically stuttering as he tried to say anything, deciding that the lowest bookshelf was more interesting to look at than her face. "I don't know who my parents were. I was adopted in middle school, but ... I couldn't talk to them about everything ... I always felt ... different. I always was different."

"Then, there was this ... person I met here. I liked them. I liked them a lot, more than anyone else I've ever seen. They were everything, and I didn't think they even knew I existed. I've been watching them for months ... but we've never even been able to hold a real conversation."

"Then the other night ... my friend Aryn, he promised me good things would happen if I took a chance ... and ... I did. Before I knew what was happening ... the two of us had made love ... and then I had all these weird dreams about people I've never read about, and my heart was exploding and I couldn't calm down ..."

"I don't know, I think I might have been having a panic attack when you all saw me ... I don't do well around crowds. Too many people, too many emotions. And then when you all started talking about magic ... I thought something made sense, and I hated that it made sense. But ... I think I'm okay now. I was just confused. I was all caught up in my emotions and I couldn't stop thinking about the night before and ..."

"And I'm sorry, you really don't need to hear about all this. I open my mouth, and sometimes I can't turn it back off..." he sighed and shook his head. His eyes sorted through memories, in front of him, and having brought them up, the people he had dreamed about being pressed on his awareness again. And simply because he had already said so much, he chuckled to himself and looked up at her, asking, "I don't suppose you know anything about past lives?"

[Cielle Blanche]

Cielle shook her head sympathetically. From what he said, it sounded as though he was destined for magic. Being different was not always a blessing, as he'd found out. She didn't want to alarm him, though, so she didn't point out how obvious a target of magic he was. He only confirmed her suspicions when speaking about his friend Aryn. She didn't want to jump to conclusions, but everything that he was telling her was setting off little signals in her head--the Light magic working out the kinks in his statements. It was only a feeling, but Cielle was sure that she was right, as she usually was when it came to those sorts of things. Light and Dark magic could make you go crazy, her papa had taught her. It made you realize things that other people didn't, made you consider possibilities that most people would drop because of minimal evidence. It made you certain of the possibility of events far off, and nagged at your brain until you acted on it. It drove you insane with knowledge, he had said.

If anything was working now, it was the magic, but she couldn't turn it away; his friend had some sort of connection to magic, she was sure. Insight, maybe? It wouldn't be difficult to find a Human who learned to tap into Insight magic. She knew that it was different for Humans, but the Elements were the same...

"I don't suppose you know anything about past lives?" His question broke her continuous train of thought, and she tried to put on her best smile despite knowing that this boy was going to be mixed up in something later on in his life.

"I know a little bit about them. My Papa...he remembers his. I'm glad that I can't remember mine. It seems that everyone I know who remembers their has a sad one, one that they felt was incomplete in some profound way. There are too many things to worry about in this life, if you ask me, without worrying about another one that you can't change." And it was true. Papa had wasted much of his time searching for his soulmate when he'd had plenty of people in this life who loved him, he had announced to her. It had cost him his Kingship, Lady Chiyo, and the comfort of a life lived in the presence of Heaven. "Why? Do you know someone who is remembering theirs? I suppose the most that they would need is support. It difficult being involved with something magical when you feel that others won't believe you--or worse, that they'll believe you but start treating you differently.

[Josiah Malkuth]

He showed surprise at that, curiosity in his eyes as he blinked. Asking her had entirely been an offhand comment. It was more likely in his mind that those dreams should have been just that. To hear her actual verify his feeling on the matter - that there was something more to them than just that - was an answer he should have expected but did not. A sense of normalcy had seen to that.

There wasn't a sense of unfulfillment from those memories though. Of course, he only remembered pieces of some as it were - a concept that boggled his mind even as he decided to think on it later - so it was quite possible he just didn't remember one like that. The people he remembered, they had a sense of purpose, of duty. It was as if they knew what they were supposed to do in life, and had gone straight for it, bar the consequences. They were ... exemplary.

He didn't have time to fully regret his own complete and utter lack of exemplary qualities before he the pain from the arrow that had killed him in the one memory flashed throughout his body, and grimaced, a twinge of pain highlighted by his hand coming up to his chest slowly. He rubbed it as if that would help, displeasure on his face despite trying to keep it down. Maybe it was just cause he remembered it only yesterday, but the memories he had were still quite vivid and, now unsurprisingly, very real. The memory drifted aside and he shook his head as if to shake off the pain.

"Sorry. Old injury," he said, and chuckled a little as he realized just how old it must have been. Of course, the pain associated with memories usually diminished after time, so he pegged on the pain of those particular memories also dissipating after awhile too. This, however, was fresh though. It'd only been a day since he died after all. He would try not to think too much on the memories. It seemed the more he thought about them, the more precedence they took.

He didn't know what to make of comment on support though. She'd already been so helpful, but was she trying to say she'd support him? He wasn't even sure what she meant by that, beyond 'believing' what he had said. At the moment though, he didn't need to be believed. He only needed to understand, and she was doing a very good job at helping him do that.

"The dreams I mentioned ... the ones I had the other day?" he brought back up in response to her question, and rather meekly at that. "I think ... I thought they might have been something like that. I've got bits and pieces right now and even though they don't have much continuity... Anyway, it's three people right now. That, uh, didn't help my emotional stability either. But it's nothing to worry about now. I'm just glad I'm not going insane," he said and finished with a half-hearted laugh as if to ease tension. Her laugh was much better at that than his though.

"Seriously though ... thank you for ... for talking with me. Neither my head, nor my heart, were really in a good place last time. It ... it means a lot that you went looking for me. You're ... really nice," he said meekly trying to at least give her something in return for this. All he could give though, was a kind word in return for her kindness. "It's not often people talk to me like this."

[Cielle Blanche]

The dreams were a little familiar to her--it had been a long time since she had heard about them, but nightmares were something her father had gone through a long, long time ago. Indeed, it seemed that magic had found this boy in some way, and their meeting was not by coincidence at all. She wasn't sure that there was anything that she could help him with, though; she didn't have any issues with memories like that herself. "You're welcome," she said, to his expression of gratitude. "I'm glad that I was able to lay some of your fears to rest." With that said, she stood, pushing her chair out to make some room to maneuver. "I'm afraid we may not meet again," she added as she turned to head to the door, not only because of what she personally knew about herself, but also because she had been location hopping for quite some time, and she honestly wasn't sure if she would be back in this area again. "Hopefully you'll find others who are able to help you. It seems that you're the type to pull in magical beings around you," she finished. "It should be helpful at some point, that ability." There had been many times in the past, where she had wished that such a thing would happen, but it was something that fate could decide.

...oh goodness. She sounded like Papa.